50 Ways to Leave your Lover

Anyway, the movie opens up with a girl having super awesome sex with her “partner, lover, significant other” or whatever you guys call your fk boys these days. Ok, so it wasn’t super awesome sex because the scene opened after the fact, but it was suggested and you know me. I have imagination galore. After the super sex scene, she says “I’m leaving you and I’m taking my daughter.”

elvisI was siting at Walmart minding my own business and enjoying the free coffee and movie of the day.  No, Silly! I don’t work there.  Hmmm, “silly.”  Do you think that word is offensive?  I was dating this super hawtee, like I always do and I did say something like, “no silly…..”  Wow!!!! He was super offended.  You know what happens right after that, right?  Yeap, your brain can’t find the lobe that holds your internal Thesaurus and instead finds a way to correctly insert that word in every phrase, sentence, and curse events, etc.  Anyway, we broke up.  But enough of my psychological problems.  That’s not the topic of this post anyway, silly, me. :p

img_salamander

Oops, I just looked up the definition of silly.  I hate to sound like Justin Beaver, but “is it too late to say sorry?”  Then may I try Adele with “Hello from the other side…. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done?”  Yeap, still single.  Shocker, I know.

Anyway, the movie opens up with a girl having super awesome sex with her “partner, lover, significant other” or whatever you guys call your fk boys these days.  Ok, so it wasn’t super awesome sex because the scene opened after the fact, but it was suggested and you know me.  I have imagination galore.  After the super sex scene, she says “I’m leaving you and I’m taking my daughter.”  He zips up his pants, grabs his cherished object, a 4 inch folding knife and… Please don’t ask me how I know it was 4 inches.  So he grabs his 4″ knife with his right hand and slashes her throat- blood every where.

Folks, never tell a guy you are leaving him after sex.  What? The name of the movie?  Well, you know how I don’t advertise but if you want to know the name of the movie, you have to click on the following link.

50 Ways to Leave your Lover and this is not one of them.  “)

Salsa Pig by

S. Hunter

(C) All rights reserved.

 

Dating These Days

Unless, of course you are the high maintenance kind of girl that wants the full course meal. Not me. A full course meal is too much of a commitment for me,

I am not the type of girl that likes to spend $$$ on pizza.  When it comes to my Pizza, Domino’s or Pizza Hut hits the spot every single time.  Lately, the latter has been my fav these days.  I like the hand tossed with the sriracha sauce?  I’m not sure about the name of the sauce, but I think it’s called Sriracha.   One of these days I am going to try  a pizza with the cheese in the crust.

Wait!!!! This post is not about pizza.  It’s also not about me.  It’s about Y O U.  “)  If you are ready to get back in the game, just one more time, you must try this place.  It’s a Pizza and Wine place.  The atmosphere is perfect for a first time date.  I know what you’re saying: “I don’t  like wine,” but I got you.blurred-vision

Don’t try to adjust your settings.  This is what it looked like after only 1/2 glass of a Jalapeno Margarita.  But you get me, right?  Unless, of course you are the  high maintenance kind of girl that wants the full course meal.  Not me.  A full course meal is too much of a commitment, but as promised no more of my psychological problems.  half-glass

 

I don’t advocate you try a cocktail on your first few dates.  Wine will be ok, but what do I know? I’m single. Anyway, If you are not dating, you can try it as a happy hour place   That’s how I found out about it, because I’m not dating these days…… Oh, crap! More psychological problems. :/

I don’t advertise but if you want to know the name of the place, you have to click on the link:   Dating These Days

Salsa Pig by Shiloh Hunter

(C) Copyright- all rights reserved

 

 

Air Head

So, I bent over like I was going to do CPR on the tire. Yeap, it wasn’t pretty folks. Anyway, I bent over and checked the tire pressure. My diagnosis was correct: Low tire pressure. I tried multiple tries and the tire pressure would not change. It should be higher by try #4! You know where I am going with this, right? Gurl!!!!!!!!! I had to. So, I did.

The low air icon on the display panel of the car lit up screaming for attention, like this:  14368817_10207827192541978_1138707565464090259_n-1 What activated that icon?  Maybe it was the weather?

The temperature did drop from its nice 88 degrees to 78 fkn degrees! Just like that!  So, I did what a regular problem solver, don’t need a man kind of girl would do under these circumstances.  By Golly!!! I was going to fix it myself!

So, I went to the nearest Quicktrip, QT since they’re the ones not charging for air these day- not hating.  Just stating the obvious$$.  Thank you QT-te amo!

I don’t know why, but every time I need something, a hawtee pops up, but enough of my psychology problems.  I’m doing this one by myself!!!!!

So, I pulled the tire gauge, and I glanced at the door to take a quick look to remind me of what the tire pressure should be.  I did not make it obvious since the other eye was alerting me that he was now watching me.  “)

So, I bent over like I was going to do CPR on the tire.  Yeap, it wasn’t pretty folks.  Anyway, I bent over and checked the tire pressure.  My diagnosis was correct: Low tire pressure.  I tried multiple tries and the tire pressure would not change.  It should be higher by try #4!  You know where I am going with this, right?  Gurl!!!!!!!!!  I had to.  So, I did.  I asked him for help.  He walked to the tire like an Amazon King and pranced his tight butt over to the “free” air dispenser and turned the button on.  FK me!!!!!  He smiled at me and then he put air on my tire and handed me the tire gauge.  UGHHHHHHHHHHHH  I knew that button.  Why didn’t I turned it on?  Because every time, I’m near a hawtee, I can’t think.  No, I did not give him my phone #!

I gave him my address.  “)  I have a list of things that need fixing at my place.  “) jk I left him where I found him:


#staysafe #strangerdanger #isjustastory #couldbetrue #uneverknow #staysafe4reals

Salsa Pig

By S.Hunter

(C) copyright-all rights reserved

 

 

 

 

found: MISSING OR VANISHED?

I know many of you prayed, looked and provided feedback.  I want to thank all 
of you for your help in bringing my friend home.  The family has asked for
privacy on this matter. Many thanks. Amen.
update 
28 year old, 220 #.  He is bald (although hair may be growing).  He has an Aztec Calendar tattoo that covers his entire back.  He has an Aztec tattoo sleeve on his left arm.  Let us not forget his name…….
I am forever grateful for your help in bringing my friend home.
Salsa Pig
by Shiloh Hunter