It’s Deer Season!

“It’s Deer Season,” they said, as I wrap around my scarf and put on my super warm gloves while a kind soul opened the door offering the drizzling rain, a place to warm the fuck up.

There’s this place up the road that fattens up deer and for a fee; you can stay up in a cottage and hunt deer. “They guarantee a kill,” they say.

But thats not what they’re talking about. They want me to not run over the deer on the road. Be it that I already killed a raccoon last week.

It’s a tough crowd, folks. Tough nosey crowd.

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Denver, WT_?

WTF, Denver? Like seriously? ZERO? WTF?

I don’t watch the Fake News, I mean the Fox channel, so when it was time to catch the game, for the life of me, I could not find the Dallas Cowboys game. The weird thing is that I could not find it at the Gym either? That was weird?

So I ended up watching the Denver game. WTF, Denver? Like, WTF? ZERO? SERIOUSLY?

It was too painful to watch, that I could not even do my workout. I had to comeback to the gym once Atlanta got on the field. They did not do much better. Maybe is me?

Choosing loser boys, I mean teams, LOL.

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Road-Kill

But this is what people do when they Road-Kill.  They go through the stages of grief. Don’t they?

It’s a two-way road with steep drop offs instead of shoulders, and long curvy slopes that made driving more than 60 mph impossible. It was only 8 PM, and several cars were behind me and one coming in my direction on their side of the road.  I saw this line of raccoons crossing the road in a perfect line one after the other.

My brain went into overdrive and quickly calculated my options.  I could not swerve to the left because there were just as many raccoons on the left as there were on the right.  If I swerved to the right there were more raccoons, the road drops off, and I would most certainly be severely injured or killed.  If I break too quickly then the car behind me would most definitely hit me and I would be hurt.

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So, I swerved slightly to the right and pressed on the breaks hoping that my actions would spare the raccoons.  My heart sank and my skin shivered as I felt the car skip in cadence with the loud thumping noise that raccoons make when they come in contact with everything that’s underneath the car.

Should I pull over?  “Why?” My brain kept racing through more options along with the answers.  “There isn’t a shoulder for another 20 miles, and what are you going to do? CPR? Mouth to mouth?  Give them Anesthesia?  What about the other raccoons? You think they’re going to let you get near the two injured raccoons?  Do you want rabies?” My brain kept going on and on trying to bring some logic into the situation at hand.

The guy behind me did not even flinched.  He kept driving as if there was nothing in front of him- on the road.

I felt horrible is an understatement.20171019_001119893579706.jpg

I prayed, and prayed until I could pull over.  My tear ducts went into overload and soon tears welled up in my eyes because my inner and outer canthi were not about to yield to this emotional outburst,  so the tears disappeared as soon as they appeared.

It was not my fault!!!! I tried everything to avoid hitting the raccoons! I did not want rabies and there was nothing I could have done!

I know. I know, not another sappy story? But this is what people do when they Road-Kill.  They go through the stages of grief. Don’t they?

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What’s Worse Than The Cowboys loss?

I know “The Boys” lost days ago, but I still can’t get over it.

I know, “The Boys” lost days ago, but I still can’t get over it.

Having said that, watching the Nissan Rogue commercial was over kill. The song, “Don’t stop Believing” by Journey is a nice touch. The family of 1 playing Frisbee w small dog then get into the Nissan Rogue SUV and drive into a packed stadium on the background, here you lost me.

The family, SUV, and the dog are badly photo shopped and superimposed into a packed stadium. My head still hurts from watching that commercial over, and over.

Wait a minute,? The gas mileage is 26mpg in the city and 33 mpg on the highway? Under 25K for a the SUV without any upgrades…. That’s is so doable!

Then the picture of that kid and the fake stadium popped into my head.

Please, make it stop. “/

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Football Season Is Here!!!!

Check your inbox. I just pinned you a friend request. You feel me? Oh, you feel me. “)

You know what’s not here? Burning season tickets of any football team

Wait? What are you protesting when you burn off those tickets? Nothing? Then it’s a temper trandum, plain and simple.

Let me help you w that. Donate the tickets to a good cause or give them to a friend.  Please check your inbox it.  I just pinned you a friend request.  You get me? Oh, you get me. “)

1, 2, 3, 4

Who’s the team youre rooting for?

Go Cowboys!!

GO DALLAS COWBOYS. IT’S OUR SEASON !!!!!!!!

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Air Head

So, I bent over like I was going to do CPR on the tire. Yeap, it wasn’t pretty folks. Anyway, I bent over and checked the tire pressure. My diagnosis was correct: Low tire pressure. I tried multiple tries and the tire pressure would not change. It should be higher by try #4! You know where I am going with this, right? Gurl!!!!!!!!! I had to. So, I did.

The low air icon on the display panel of the car lit up screaming for attention, like this:  14368817_10207827192541978_1138707565464090259_n-1 What activated that icon?  Maybe it was the weather?

The temperature did drop from its nice 88 degrees to 78 fkn degrees! Just like that!  So, I did what a regular problem solver, don’t need a man kind of girl would do under these circumstances.  By Golly!!! I was going to fix it myself!

So, I went to the nearest Quicktrip, QT since they’re the ones not charging for air these day- not hating.  Just stating the obvious$$.  Thank you QT-te amo!

I don’t know why, but every time I need something, a hawtee pops up, but enough of my psychology problems.  I’m doing this one by myself!!!!!

So, I pulled the tire gauge, and I glanced at the door to take a quick look to remind me of what the tire pressure should be.  I did not make it obvious since the other eye was alerting me that he was now watching me.  “)

So, I bent over like I was going to do CPR on the tire.  Yeap, it wasn’t pretty folks.  Anyway, I bent over and checked the tire pressure.  My diagnosis was correct: Low tire pressure.  I tried multiple tries and the tire pressure would not change.  It should be higher by try #4!  You know where I am going with this, right?  Gurl!!!!!!!!!  I had to.  So, I did.  I asked him for help.  He walked to the tire like an Amazon King and pranced his tight butt over to the “free” air dispenser and turned the button on.  FK me!!!!!  He smiled at me and then he put air on my tire and handed me the tire gauge.  UGHHHHHHHHHHHH  I knew that button.  Why didn’t I turned it on?  Because every time, I’m near a hawtee, I can’t think.  No, I did not give him my phone #!

I gave him my address.  “)  I have a list of things that need fixing at my place.  “) jk I left him where I found him:


#staysafe #strangerdanger #isjustastory #couldbetrue #uneverknow #staysafe4reals

Salsa Pig

By S.Hunter

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